• Burnout is the term given to the physical or psychological condition induced in workers by overwork or overexposure to stress in the workplace.
  • A feeling of being worn out and having diminished interest in performing an activity.

Masaya ka pa b? (Are you still happy?)

The question has been lingering on my mind for quite some time now. It struck me the most when I was having an accidental chat with one of the supervisors. We met at the bus stop going to Buendia.

“Sa’n nakakabili nyan?” he commented on the bag I was wearing.

“Wala na ‘to! Limited edition that belongs to the museum!” was my awkward response in my hopes that it would be taken as candid.

We talked about some changes happening in the account that we were working on. He asked me how long have I been with the company. The question might have been triggered by the “bag” mentioned in the above conversation as it was a corporate giveaway from the past before the american company we work for was taken over by an Indian corporate giant. I told him the truth.

“Six years in October” was what I said.

He said he just turned five and is waiting for the anniversary watch. It’s a Kenneth Cole watch. One of the few company traditions that the Indian bosses decided to keep.

Then he went on and mentioned something the goes like this:

When you hit five years in the company, you’re gonna be stuck with it.

I am not sure how to react. So I just let it be. We took the bus and talked a little more about work. I abruptly bade goodbye at my stop. The though got struck in my head though.

Then I was blog hopping when I chanced upon an entry about being happy at work. A reader, apparently a colleague, posted a question to the blogger about his status in the company. The question was about being satisfied with the company after a considerable tenure. Then I asked myself. Am I still happy?

In my attempt to answer the question I reflected and looked back six years ago when I was a bum looking for job. Being a bum for a year or so after my short stint as a freelance researcher made me grab opportunities regardless of its status in the social strata. I was then waiting for my final documentations to be a factory worker in Taiwan when I got an email from an agency I have sent an application to a few months ago. Since I have no word from the stint in Taiwan just yet I took my chances on launching an adventure to Makati City (I am from the northern side of Nueva Ecija). That was the time I was made aware of the call center industry. They subjected me to rigorous exercises and exams until I was offered a job. I have no second thoughts when I sealed the contract with my signature. Back then P13K was good enough as a starting salary for someone without any experience at all.

I nearly cried when I got shouted at by an irate customer when I started. I was not used to this kind of treatment. But like they say, you go numb as time passes. So I became stronger. After learning the craft of being cold and insensitive, I had to deal with the volume of work. The number of calls swelled, doubled and tripled. Somehow I felt I was getting tired of the routine. That was four years ago. That was the time I decided to close the book and find myself a regular job.

Looking for a new job was difficult. I was not used to wearing business suits to begin with and I haven’t had any practice at all in acing interviews. Months and another year passed and I am still here. I am still a loser trying to be happy with what I have and what’s left of my pride.

My sister, our youngest is finally graduating the day after tomorrow. This will officialy seal the end of my responsibility as the eldest. I will be free from the bond that kept me from enjoying life as any other yuppee should be doing. Why am I injecting this in my entry? Simply because I am thinking of giving up this job and to finally search for the one that will fit me. Some job that I will love and enjoy. This time i will not worry about the oney for my siblings’ school expenses. I will have the flexibility to bend my finances however I want to. This is my liberation, this is my exodus…

Just before the month of March closed I decided to end this career and to start searching for myself. I started the process of letting go. I talked to my superior about my plans and m time table. I wanted the transition to be as smooth as possible. After all, I earned the respect of my peers with my professionalism and firm belief in integrity….

I intended to leave the company…but for some reason I am having a hard time starting…it’s not that I am afraid of what lies ahead for I am willing to tread the murky waters of the future. It’s the people I am leaving behind, friends who has stayed with me through the rough times…

I am tired and I want to be happy…so I am leaving, if not today, it’s sooner than everyone’s expecting…

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